::WARNING RANT::

OK so this is the rant that my mother was so lucky as to witness the other day as we drove down to meet my grandmother for her museum Christmas party.

We were listening to NPR and there was a piece on the best album of the year. ooo! thinks I, NPR frequently has an interesting view on what musicians are currently influencing music and such.

The best album of the year folks? a compilation of old 45 singles that this company put out of Motown. What?!
come on!
how pretentious do we have to be? the best album of the year was a compilation of music that was originally put out 40- 50 years ago? so...there was no music worth any interest that was put out this year by current composers?

That's crap, NPR that's crap!

Now I love NPR, and the article was really interesting and something that I genuinely wanted to listen to, but as the best album put out this year?

What I want to hear about is who is saving Hip-Hop from its commercial demise? what group is changing the sound of indie rock? who is taking the folk/bluegrass community by storm. I mean it's still NPR, they're still going to report on some no-name band that only a select few will have ever heard of and then these same people will pissed off that NPR went off and ratted on their musical secret (allot of people by records off of NPR recommendations, I know because this one time I was doing just that...heard an awesome review said 'wow I would like to own that CD' dashed off to Borders and subsequently couldn't find it. The clerk there told me that they always get a rush of customers for albums after an article is run on them by NPR) but still despite the pretension that I expected, to decide that the best album of the year was comprised of music written years ago is complete malarkey.

Now I know and revere old music, but I don't even expect them to say that a new recording of a classical work is the best album of the year. I mean it would be interesting to see what they think the best classical recording of the year is, but that's a different piece entirely.

anyway that's all I have to say on the matter, NPR should have found a contemporary group to review for album of the year. This piece was great I did want to hear it, just in a more apropos context.

grrr you tube

so I've been trying to get http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdxkVQy7QLM this...why can't I link words anymore? grr beta blogger you are not helpful in the least...the old one inserted all the technical info in parentheses so then you could make the link whatever word you wanted...in this case I wanted the word to be "this".
Whatever.
"This" see gobblygook above is a rant about PAchabel's canon from youtube...

but embly why didn't you post the video straight to your blog like last time?

well I tried several times, but it didn't work....hah! maybe it's because I switched to beta..??...

I'll work on that.

anyhow I've made this rant before...I mean he's alittle harsh on all the chord structures being the same...I mean it's only the second favorite sequence of all time...composeres they like sequences...they make things easy...key changes....or like pachabel's canon, they allow for a cyclic song...




heee!!! see what I did there? cyclic song is the name of my blog you see, so it's funny!

crossed a finish line

phew!!! I finished. Somehow all of the finals are done. Sadly I still have applications due...also I have lots of music to learn.

Last night I went to see Romeo et Juliette by Gonoud. My body is finally getting sick after clinging to wellness for the last month or so, so I have to admit that first and foremost it felt very long. Isn't that awful? I was just too tired and achy to really get into the love duets and such, I guess last night was just not the right night for me to see this opera.

the Tenor was fantastic, his voice was really phenomanal, light when it needed to be and totally dramatic at other points. He was also quite an actor, obviously he played giddy in love easier than other more wrenching parts but he did quite a fine job throughout.

The soprano was very good, and yet, dispite my displeasure in saying this, was only just that. She sang everything as you wanted her to, all the musical decisions were perfect and yet I wanted something more.

Perhaps I'm being hyper-critical, but that's just the impression that I was left with. That's all for now though I'm sure posting will suddenly increase now that I'm on vacation!

old music

Sorry for a certain lack of posting, I'm pretty much up to my ears in work. I have to be ready for a drop the needle style test on early music, also with definitions and essays on the readings that I have been consistantly not doing. When you don't need them for class it is hard to convince one self to do them. Of course there is also a paper for this class, though I'm not thinking about that because I have about a week to write that.
though I do have a paper on Il Barbieri di Siviglia that should be done for Tuesday. Though that should pull through.
Also I have been sending out applications, making recordings all the things involved with that. I have two concerts coming up.
And planning all the music that I have to learn over break.

so sorry for just talking about my life. I have a more interesting things to talk about when I have some time.

Beethoven Parody

BEYOND THE FRINGE -

Kim Witman of the Wolf trap operaposted a link to two of the other clips that Dudley Moore does. However I think that those who read my blog will get more of a kick out of this particular parody, as more people who read my blog know about beethoven sonatas than Britten.

Werter

I spent an hour and a half in lesson today going over and over and over Frere!Voyez!...from Werter. I needed to quickly add an extra aria to my audition package and this is an easy piece for my voice, nothing to work through at all, just learn the notes figure out the character and go!

However my French sucks...This is augmented by the fact that I have a really hard time reading words off a page and singing them in the correct order. I may have a little dyslexia going on, but certainly not enough to bow out of any learning responsibilities.

Anyhow an hour and a half later on this little piece and I think I pronounce everything and I'm not swapping the que and the je (why do you happen in a row?)

I haven't done any research on this opera, but as far as I can tell this Sophie character is a complete ditz who just does not get that Werter is one depressed gent. Ah air headed roles.

For those of you in the area my non-university-affiliated choir is performing the London version of the Brahms Requiem on Saturday. It should be most excellent. For the curious the London version is performed with two pianos rather than an orchestra.

I have a feeling that a Donizetti post is in the near future.

it's morphin' time!

If you are ever truely missing the 90's The Power Rangers movie may be the thing for you.
man the hair the cloths, and of course the special effects.

I think my brain is melting out of my ears.

The only constructive thing that I did this weekend was sing at the Chicago Humanities festival in the Gleacher center down town. Otherwise I just talked to people and baked things. In all fairness though, I did write two papers last weekend.

on that note some thoughts on listening to various recordings of Rossini. I listened to alot of the rondo from la cenerentola. This is a piece I will never sing, unless I gain some rediculous low notes.

What I discovered from reviewing this series of performances is that despite the plethora of variations available to singers, they use them sparingly in this piece. This can be attributed to how incredibly difficult and spectacular this piece already is without the addition of further complications. Ultimately tasteful additions are more important and interesting than a large quantity of additions. When applying ornamentation one must also be considerate of the context of the piece as a whole. The less successful ornaments were so because they broke up the cohesion of the piece. The tempo and notes may be altered, but if it is done too frequently or too dramatically one loses sight of the feeling of the piece as a whole. As such, when one is presented with a piece with many opportunities for ornamentation as I denote at the beginning, one should choose only one or two places that make the most dramatic sense for the character that they are playing. Other wise the ear gets lost in a group of impressive sounds that do not appear to convey any meaning.

meaning is ultimatly the point of opera no? in fact of music. I think that often people lose sight of this when they study it meticulously. Yet how do we intrinsically describe music? in emotional terms, how did the piece make you feel, we also in our limitation describe things in visual terms or compare it to something else. Even in our visual comparisons we call upon items that convey the same emotional feeling or embience as the music. Technical terms can only describe one facet of music. The rest happens some where else, because where else would god be if not between the notes?

I think there is some universal goodness in music that must not be toyed with. It has such a manipulative force over individuals that it can encourage distinct behaviors. So I leave you with a question: Are you using music for Good or for Evil?

Il Trovatore

I had not seen this opera before. I enjoyed it.

Sondra Radvanovsky was amazing as Leonora. Wow did her voice ever just reach the corners of the civic opera house. She had a real smooth richness to her voice that many sopranos don't pull off. I find that successful sopranos have a real silvery quality to their voices...A ping perhaps?
she had sort of the opposite of this...Successfully no less!

In general the Lyric cast this opera well, as Nina said; good ensemble work, they all really blended quite well.

For me, I just ran through the Brahms Requium in it's entirety. I may have sung a little vigorously as I need to sing tomorrow. Sometimes you do this to yourself despite all better judgment and full acknowledgement that you are doing this and shouldn't.

This weekend I saw the silk road ensemble they were excellent. They even pulled off a multi-media piece really well, with a painter projecting what he was painting in time to the music. I had him sketch something for me. What made the concert was that everyone on that stage was having a great time. It really translates when this happens, the audience can tell.

sorry my writing is lame tonight...I wrote two papers this weekend so well thought out sentences and grammar are evading me.

and I cried laser tears

I happen to be friends with a skull researching, b-movie loving, amazingly nice guy who has regular bad movie nights at his apartment. You should check out what he has to say about Moscow.
Anyhow we saw yet another fantastically terrible movie at his place last night. Godzilla vs. Hederoth (Hederoth, is that right? Correct me if I'm wrong).
This fine piece of cinematic work really has only enough material for a standard TV show (read about 25 min) but was an hour and a half long. Not that the flashing match box car lights weren't thrilling, I'm just saying they could have tightened it up a little.
Anyhow the Japanese are polluting so much that a monster is created out of the pollution. He unlike all other living creatures is made of the stuff of diamonds...that's right, carbon...CRAZY! Anyhow Godzilla is no longer the evil doer of past movies but rather a super hero that saves Japan on a semi-regular basis. He has some pretty fantastic theme music that he dances to a lot, and the fights include a lot of smack talking (read cat cleaning like gestures) between the monsters and Godzilla generally getting his but kicked by a sulfuric acid spewing monster.
The real hero of this movie however was a little Japanese kid in short shorts. These were some seriously short shorts people, complete with suspenders. He's the one who really knows what's going on.
After a hippy party over looked by creepy grey men in the bushes Godzilla finally lays the smack down and what a smackdown it is...in fact it is so good that the director of the movie decided that it need to happen twice instead of once....that's right he destroys the same monster twice.
Also this is the only movie I've ever seen where a monster get high off of an industrial smoke stack.


this is just some of the quality quality programming that I've had the privilege of watching over the past 3 or so years here. College is certainly edifying.

spero che...

Do you ever feel the intense need to help someone but know that really you should let things alone? This happens to me alot after observing behavior of people, I arrogently assume I understand things so therefore I can fix them.
Actually I don't try to fix them, the only wisdom I have is that I can sometimes leave well enough alone.
I feel this way about big things usually...except it's more that I merely wish to help not that I actually try to go about doing anything. It's the big things that make you feel the most useless. I've talked about some of this before...Israeli settelers being torn from their homes and hurting for them while thinking that they were wrong to move there in the first place and it's about bloody time they got out.
Or special education and questioning who it is actually benifiting.



the Iphiginie review will not be happening...let it stand that it was fantastic. Chalk and black box, really well excecuted, possibly one of the best productions I've seen at the Lyric...really captured the inner struggle that is the story.

Currently I'm listening to the final rondo from la cenerentola in as many forms as possible. I"m studying Rossini's ornimentation and what others do with it.
In sad news one of the cadenzas I do in Una voce poco fa is completely out of stylistic character. Coloratura sops do it all the time but it is pretty much not ok according to scholarly research. So the question is should I do it? It's fairly standard in performance, but still wrong.
I'll look up other options, the warning bell was when my teacher said " I like it it's like Lakme's bell song." Crap. that is not the time period and style to be aimed for.

I think thatI might actually be able to get into grad school, I'm feeling pretty calm about it currently.

anyhow it's time for bed as I've been up since 5:30 this morning...poo on that


Edit: whoa whoa whoa...did mr Campbell Vertesi suggest that Academics are not the sacred blood on which we live? because...well...I mean...it's just....this institution is the ivory tower. sweet sweet blissful seperation from all things practical and erudite expedition into the theoretical. I mean where else could I write "Therefore I contend that music is man's attempt to control time, through music we recognize the passage of time as we wish it to pass: with meaning....as such I wish to be a time master...." I mean is this something that we can apply to social theory? I think yes!



I'm restraining myself from applying Foucault and Durkheim...gah!!!!!!!panopti....collecti...efferv...
ok

yes...it is time for me to go to conservatory...I expect it will be super sweet!

vulnerable?

I just came back from a voice lesson in which I couldn't sing, everytime I opened my mouth I just started crying, which for those of you who have tried singing does not happen when you are crying, so I'm going back tomorrow to try again.

The thing is that on the superficial level it should not have happened; myu teacher had just chastised me for not being prepared for an audition that he had been the adjudicator for the evening before. It was for the soprano solo in the Brahms German requim. In my defense it's not right for my voice, and I've been super busy with grad school prep and these things called classes, none-the-less he was completely right and I should have simply not auditioned rather than walk in only moderately prepared. The problem is that I have become really lax about these things because no-matter my preperation, I will get solos here because I have more training and commitment to singing than most people at this institution.

Anyhow, what was something that I could normally have just dealt with (because he was right and I knew it) just made it impossible for me to do anything. Why?

Well, my grandfather died about a year ago and that has been on my mind alot. I was lucky enough to have a really great relationship with him, he was such a kind and wise person...though not outdoor savy (he once told us to not bother trimming the lower branches of a tree because they would just grow up with the tree and not be as close to the ground in time) HOwever I'm not sure if this is it.

This is a very emotionally taxing institution to attend, there are no peaks and troughs in work load or intensity, you essentially have 10 weeks of grind. Perhaps I'm feeling the strain of not haveing my best friend here this year (though for all practical purposes it has not been an issue). It makes a difference if you don't have the person who you rely upon for the most immediat support not be there.

Also I think I've gotten to a place where I am just not emotionally invested in academia in the same way. I had such an amazing vocal coaching earlier this week, I'm working so much in choirs and practicing, that I'm just ready for this to be my life, but I have the more immediate pressures of classes.

Anyhow a reveiw of the Lyric Opera's Iphigenie en Tauride is forth coming.

awake?

So the question is how/why am I awake? it's 1:30 in the morning...I don't stay up this late...it's prbably because I ate margot's cupcake batter and then made it into pancakes....did you know you could do that, use cake batter as pancake batter? well evidently you can but you have to be careful because the higher sugar content causes it to burn more rapidly...pretty ok.

ok Turandot...I'm sure if I am sufficiently awake to make any sort of coherent comments about it, but I have to soon because my next opera is next week and then I will be unforgivibly behind.

ok; so I think that Nitzche might have liked this opera...I say this because Nitchze's favorite opera was Carmen. There are some of you who might find this surprising perhaps, but it is because it portrayed love in an un-romanticized and an unforgiving fashion. he was into that.

anywho short overveiw...Act I: Turandot is a princess who does not want to be married because she is afraid of the subjegation that is marriage for a woman, as such there is a law that all her suitors have to answer three riddles. If they answer them correctly then she will marry them, if they fail she has their heads chopped off. Prince whitnesses be-heading, sees princess falls in love. Liu (slave in love with prince) begs him not to do it, he does it anyway. He answers her riddles correctly...she can't handle it, so he tells her that if she can find out his name then she can kill him anyway.
Act II: Prince sings super famous Nessun' Dorma, because princess has ordered that no one may sleep that night hence the name of the song. Princesses wise men types (ping pang and pong) find prince's old man father and slave liu...they torture liu but she won't tell princes name...princess asks what makes you so strong...she answers her love for the prince in an aria that makes you cry...she then kills herself...princess is minimally moved...Prince kisses princess and tells her his name...she instantly falls in love and assumibly (according to the fairy tale) they live happily ever after.

Anyhow: Patricia RAcette as Liu...super fantastic! man I have not been moved to tears at opera before...I also saw her as Michaela last year...very good then too. Andera GRuber as Turondot. I thought that her performance was alittle flat, though I can't decide if it is my dislike for the character of the princess or her as a singer. In her defense the part is wickidly difficult, but once she got out of her super high register I wished that she had alittle more depth to her sound.

Vladimir GAlouzine as Calaf (the prince) I didn't really have a strong opinion, my fellow opera goers liked his sound quite a bit...he emphatically ended his phrases in a glotal kind of way...but that's mostly just a stylistic choice the way he was doing it.

ok the story...man does love ever lose out in this story. I mean Calaf (the prince) sees Turadot and immediatly lusts afer her.
Liu, genuinely loves calaf and kills her self to save him...the true love and tragety in the story
Turondot falls in love when she is kissed...I beleive they say something about her ice melting...this is again desire or lust.

So my interpretation poorly articulated because it is almost 2 in the morning (what is my problem get off the stupid computer) Is that she has given up. remember she has seen like 20 some odd suitors killed because of her, there has to be a time that she just gives up. She hates the idea of marriage because of the story of this woman killed by a man and she vows to never to be placed in such a position of weakness. but she compromises this ideal and ends up with the prince...he doesn't prove to her that men can be loving and nurtureing...he seduces her. She is not converted by the increadible love of Liu, she secumbs to latent desires and an exhaustion.

so moral of opera? love looses...lust wins

more when I have slept.

stuff soon to come

I swear. I have two interesting posts coming, one is a reveiw of the Lyric Opera's Turondot, of which I have some to say not just about the production, but about the story as well (I had never seen heard or read this one before).

I also will respond to djdm MOM because greek chorus and opera actually have alot of links beleive it or not...actually it's not a huge deal, but it's kinda fun bit of history to talk about.

For now however I need to do the necessaries to maintain being a student and apply to grad school.

Fun note, my brother came out for the weekend, it was super plus fun, we walked all around Chicago hither and yon, went out to eat yummy places, hung out with my friends and saw Thankyou For Smoking. A really funny film.

ok writing letter to get a recommendation letter...dear sir I am awsome, would you like to write a letter affirming this to various institution of higher learning? thanks. Love Embly

this is what happens when I try to write a cover letter

One has to choose to sing as a career for a reason greater than “I like it” or “I’m good at it”, yet one does not choose to sing because they want to change the world. I choose to sing because it can bring joy to others thereby bringing joy to me. We have doctors and bankers to take care of our personal and financial well-fare and as such we need artists to take care of some part of our aesthetic being. One of the greatest thing about being a human working within a civilization of social beings is that we can enjoy more than the basic needs of life. As such we develop culture. It is interesting to think that perhaps the development of culture is man’s attempt to control all aspects of life. There are some things that are so abstract that it does not seem that they can be bent to the will of man. Time is one of these concepts; it passes us by whether we can recognize its passage or not. Therefore I will contend that music is man’s attempt to control time, through music we recognize the passage of time as we desire it to pass, with meaning.

As such I wish to be a time master, but I don’t wish to do so in a base manner for opera is more than sound, in fact opera is more than “merely” music. Music can be abstract or convey raw emotion, opera does this with what is a concrete story. I want to be a vehicle for what is fantastic gut wrenching music. I want a child to come see an opera and never forget the experience, the lights the costume and most of all the music. This child will not remember the names of the people who sang, and ultimately this is not important, but they will remember if the music and acting made them laugh and cry.

I want to sing opera because there is more than the act of singing involved in being a great singer. Firstly one must understand the poetic subtleties of different languages. I did not think that I would enjoy learning languages, yet it is like discovering a key to unlock the mysteries of another culture. The only way to obtain an understanding of another culture is to explore it from the inside, language gives us this capability. Secondly one must understand the history surrounding different operas. Depending on when and where something was written the piece will be performed differently, and this is not something that is necessarily indicated in the score. It is these subtleties that can make a performance superb. Thirdly one must understand the stage, actions and emotions must not just be apparent to the performer, but to the (hopefully) vast sea of individuals in the audience. Fourthly one must have an acute understanding of human emotion. What a character really means must be more apparent than what they say. Finally one must be able to sing appropriately for each moment. Singing is not merely about making beautiful noise. Sometimes the sound must be beautiful, other times a different sound may be called upon.

I think that it is easy to be drawn into the individual glamour of singing on the stage, yet if the individual glamour is not part of a production or out shines it in an inappropriate fashion, the glamour is no longer desirable. As in society one performer is merely part of a whole, and if one part of the production does not work then the entire whole will fail. I want to sing because I want to be a functioning piece of a fantastic whole.

eventually the problem with modern music

I guess we have all learned from Daniel that Beta blogger is made of evil and is not to be trusted. Unless of course it will bring us closer to perfection once we all have it, some sort of communist utopia of sorts....or not.

We have a brand new crop of first years here that are all asking what classes to take and are beginning an exciting four years. I've been working for the Masters cooking all sorts of foods. We've been increadibly productive and non argumentitive, so I declare it a success!

What I don't declare a success was our trip to the Velvet Lounge. For those of you who know anything about the south side of chicago the Velvet lounge is located four blocks east of the redline stop at Cermak/China town. This is not a terrible neighborhood, but also not one that I would choose to take first years who have never been in an intense urban environment. That said I also object to the students at this institution who never explore the southside and will only go to the northside when going out in the evening, but even for someone who has lived here for now three years I spent my time very aware while walking. My group had no real trouble some people talked to us, but that's just what happen anywhere. However some groups were really harassed by some individuals and apparently the polic told one of the groups that they shouldn't be walking there after dark. Oh the neighborhoods your stopped in because you're white.

Normally we take trips at this time to some sort of Blues club where we dance and play pool and can talk while enjoying really loud blues. I mean Blues is the music of chicago. This was a Jazz Jam session, in a small club where everyone just sat and listened. Here I will have to admit that I am not a jazz person, I get it, and I like some of it, but even Coltrain can be too obtuse for me. And Jamming? bah I just don't like it. Go ahead call me a troglidite if you like...I don't mind, I'm aloud to not like something though.

The problem I have with a lot of modern music (I do not mean the pop scene) is that individuals feel the need to push boundries, do things that no one has done before.
Well certainly, this is the western way, there is no way around this, but we are pushing our way into incomprehesibility. There are certain cases where an inability to understand something ceases to be the fault of the listener and becomes the fault of the musician/composer. Obscurity does not necesarily make one more valid. Being difficult to understand does not increase the importance of your work. You are not a more complex and evocative individual if you write in a context that no one can comprehend.

Of course one cannot emulate past masters though. IT's already been done, it's trite and there is no way that we can rival those who have done so well in the past. Thus we are stuck in some sort of conundrum where we must strive to change and become greater, yet we must stay with in the bounds of what is comprehensible...

Perhaps 100 years from now I will be seen as backwards, and the work of certain composers will be seen as the necessary genius to push us into a new age of music. One can not predict history before it happens.

well anonymous, to inquire upon what color other frequencies of light are is to assume that we can project our ability to perceive a range of about 400 nanometers of wave lengths. The problem is that we would have to figure out a way to receive such frequencies and then perceive them. I think that it might be better that we can only see what we can, other wise our puny minds just might explode. Though it's certainly interesting to think about.

However I'm a musician not a physicist so all my replies to this matter mean little. They are based upon the way I think the world works, which is in no way a reflection of how the world actually functions.

I'm finally back in chicago. Time to start my final year here at this institution. I think that I start every year with a little bit of trepidation for different reasons everytime, last year I was still sick from that evil whatever I had and could barely sing. This year is the first year I'll be here with out Duff and with alot of my friends off campus, and I have to apply for grad school.

Have I mentioned that I have no desire to go through this process, it's just not something I feel inclined to do. But of course I have to.

I think that wooly adelgid and light rays are more fun than applying to grad school.

This was inspired by the rocketry room...it's nonsense!

There are no philosophical questions allowed in the rocketry room. However I am not in the rocketry room, rather in my study, where for better or worse philosophical questions abound. The problem with philosophical questions is that attempting to answer them generally does little to clarify the subject. In fact in most cases attempting to answer these sticky questions can leave you worse off than you began. However I will attempt to answer one lurking, provocative unanswered question: Where do the lost rockets go?

There are several theories presently accepted as to the location of these lost projectiles. One of the more widely spread theories is that they break through the earth’s gravitational pull and are now hurling around the earth at a precariously low orbit. As one who has made many rockets and thereby lost quite a few, I do not believe that this is the case. I think that the craftsmanship on these rockets, while certainly great in many cases does not lend itself to rockets that are now in space. One must also keep in mind the materials that the average model rocket builder works with, cardboard tubing, balsa wood fins etc.

No, they most certainly return to earth, the question is of course where. I have pondered this question on and off while watching rockets descend to earth clearly on course to land in the middle of route forty four, yet hear no car related noises to indicate that it ever made it there. I had pondered briefly the idea that rockets fall in the category of guitar picks. I’m referring of course to a theoretical principal in physics. All solid objects are not very solid at all, rather are mostly empty space. More over you never actually come in physical contact with anything, ever, your electrons merely repel the electrons of the other objects. One may ask, what then do electrons and guitar picks have to do with the rocket I spent hours working on only to be lost?

The principle is as follows: since all “solid” objects are actually mostly charged empty space theoretically if two objects collide with each other, it is possible that during one of the collisions, all of the electrons and subatomic particles miss each other therefore the objects pass clear through each other. Or more amusingly become stuck in the center of each other. I am suggesting that this is possibly what happens to the rockets that hurtle back towards earth never to be seen again.

One may disregard this theory as bunk due to the amount of theoretical extrapolation and induction it requires. However how else can one explain the mysterious disappearance of so many rockets? Surely no one puts any stock into the “stuck in trees” theory. Though there was recent research conducted that shows that rockets that appear to get stuck in trees are not stuck at all, rather sentries. Sentries for the formerly unknown secret society of slightly maimed rockets. It is my hypothesis that these disgraced rockets band together to support each other while forming their own community. Who better to understand the troubles of being shot through the stratosphere only to be thwarted by your own structure than another rocket that has recently gotten over the same struggle?

These tightly knit bands of wayward psychologically patched rockets wander the countryside trying to revenge those that destroyed their fragile existence. Using the resources they have, spent engines and the ability to grow tiny organisms they have begun to attack the trees. Their first target in the north east of the United States has been the dreaded Hemlock. Yes it is the rockets that have created the white fuzzy parasitic substance that plagues these organisms. This life draining creation that humans have labeled as “Woolly Adelgid” is really a parasite farmed by wayward rockets that live the first part of their lives supported by the sulfurous remains of the rockets’ old engines.

Dufferkins returns

Of course I write something that I deem to be perhaps thought provoking, but probably just self indulgent and Duff my darling boy manages to out wax me in every possible way considerable. Firstly he wrote a veritable epic (granted he hasn't posted since the spring) and secondly he managed to reference all sorts of obscure texts and concepts that only the educated may recognize. I mean the Cosmic Microwave Background is pretty sweet and good evidence for the idea that the universe exploded into existance, but I'm just not sure how many people know what that is...I'm just lucky I took astro physics. also Derrida and Levi-Strauss both make an apperance I'm mean check it out.

Anyhow, don't mind all that, this is of course why we all love Duff.

I think we get caught up in potentialities...

really I wrote that because it sounded cool not because I thought that it really meant anything. if there is anything that the University has taught me is that most obscure profound things are mostly the former, and not so much the latter. I like to think that three years at this institution has taught me enough such that I can call people on this as frequently as possible...though of course you leave yourself open to be criticized for not thinking critically about a subject before dismissing a topic, but I think that really people are mostly interested in sounding like they know what they're talking about, and will risk being obtuse such that they seem more educated (note I did not say intelligent but educated...entirelly different things)

In other news I was accepted into this super sweet choir that will sing at Carnegie Hall this January...we will be singing Bach's St. Matthew's Passion.

a moment quickly

I won the staff solo competition at the camp I worked at this summer! It was pretty exciting. The only problem that arose was that somehow they ordered an orchestrated version of the piece that was missing about 14 measures of the piece, right in the middle in two sections. They of course did not have me in to reherse with the orchestra (my "prize" was to get to perform with the orchestra, hopefully I'll have the recording soon) until the day before the performance and there I was singing and suddenly very lost with what the accompaniment was doing. I figured it out and pointed out to the conductor that he was missing music, to which he exentually responded (after it happened a second time) that I was just going to have to learn it the orchestras way. What!? (internal reaction) A memorized solo for tomorrow? Anyhow I took his score down to the program manager's office who was very sorry but I guess you'll just have to learn it the orchestra's way. Anyhow, one very quietly angry Emily returned to the Unit where Hannah and I worked and proceeded to orchestrate the missing music using the reduction that I had. The next morning I returned to the office, we typed out instructions made photocopies of the parts that I had written out and there was an insert on every string player's stand for the afternoon rehersal and despite me being very worried that I had royaly screwed up it worked perfectly.

So. It was stressful, but now I have a great story for someone from Blue Lake to write a charming recommendation about.

alive

yes I am in fact still alive and kicking.
Though I found some interesting white spots in my throat so we'll see how long that lasts. The apperation of the white spots is particularily un-fortuitous becuase I have the staff solo competition finals tomorrow, so singing needs to happen.

Other than that things continue to be about the same working at camp. The weather is abysmally hot, which makes everyone alittle less enthusiastic about life.

I am reading the Master and Margerita which is wonderful. I highly recommend it if you want a completely crazy story line in which the devil screws over a number of unsuspecting people. Supurbly written...masterful.

Our new conductor for this second half of the summer is not nearly as good and the one that we had for the first, though it may just be that he was so wonderful that it is difficult to return to a conductor of normal aptitude.

I went to my aunt and uncle's for my last session break which was very relaxing. WE rented afew movies and I watched them on their couch in the evenings, that was amazingly what I wanted to do the most. I'm not a big movie person, I just really miss the fabulousness of couches.

Other than the past few days because of the weather and my apparant throat illness my voice has been doind very well and I've had some great lessons. What is with me and being sick in the summer? I guess my body is not a fan of the summer, or perhaps being away from home in the summer, even when I'm excersizing and doind all the things that keeps one well.

Summer camp

Daniel has pointed out that my blog is lonely: I would like to point out that this is the first time that I have had any access to the internet at all since arriving in michigan June 19.

I am working at a Fine arts camp. It is actually a pretty good experience. The first session is over, my kids were really good. There were of course a few minor things, but all things that were to be expected from 13 year olds that are not dissapointing at all.

I am singing in both the choir and the vocal ensemble. The choir conductor is wonderful. He really knows what he wants and how to get it out of everyone. It's just vvery nice to work with someone with so much experience. I took a voice lesson with this amazing mezzo who sang at the faculty show case. It was one of the most difficult lessons that I have taken in a long time. I really came back to my unit exhausted. It was pretty exciting. When I sang the way she was helping me to it was as if all of the sound coming out of my mouth was crashing into the sound that had just comeout a slit second before createing all sorts of overtones that made my voice seem bigger.

I tried to practi ce this yesterday but I had a difficult time. However I did that again today and had much more success.

We're on our ifrst session break, so yesterday we went down to Holland MI to see the dutch village it was pretty ok, but certainly not great. All the interesting things you could have gotten into for free and the ticket got you into mostly lame things.

That's ok though.

The girls that I directly work with in the unit are great. We really get along quite well despite the fact that we seem to all have quite different personalities. The time here only goes slowly when we arn't very busy, which is only on session break. I think that I may ask my uncle who lives south of here if I can spend the next session break there, such that I can be in a real house and eat real food.

That's about it, I'll probably not update for another 2 weeks, but maybe I'll get off camp sooner to see what is up with the world.

home

Here I am in good old New England.
mmm what a mosquito-ie time of year to be here, it is in fact much more mosquitoie here than it was down in Mississippi where I was visting Duff with a whole slew-o-folks.

We all had a grand time, at least I did, got to be relaxed, and completely unstressed by "things I should be doing".
Speaking of things that were stressing me out I listened to the recording I made for the Helmuth Rilling audition on good speakers and I'm pretty satisfied. IT's not the best recording but I think it captures my voice pretty well. Not that I really had a good second option if it hadn't turned out well, but at least this way I feel ok sending it out.

It was such a relief though, it was a really stressful day that I made it, I was running between two different "gigs" and a brief coaching, then the guy who was recording it didn't actually know how to do anything more than hit record and finalize the CD. AHHHH! so I didn't get the option of, record song several times and choose best one like one would normally do, I had the go through and do it and hope that it's ok option. but it turned out ok.

Pictures of MS may be forth coming,but may be not.

Also: I will be working at an overnight summer camp this summer, so posting may be even more limited than it's already pretty limited state.

new!

check out my blogs new snazzy features...links! and pretty side stuff. All thanks to Daniel!
tomorrow we head to Mississippi and the summer has officially begun.
people have graduated.
I am now a fourth year in the college.

Also: I hate packing...and there is still alittle to be done before we leave in the morning.

that is all

I'm done!

I'm done with finals! I can focus on making recordings and such. I'll write more extensively on these things and my weekend, but right now my brain is not in a writing insightful comments sort of mood.

I don't think this was bitchy...it was truely what I thought

I just left this response to someone who is deleting their blog because they are concerned that you can find their posts through google etc. the trouble with anominity:

isn't that why people blog though...to be found and heard? doesn't the mere act of blogging beg for attention from strangers and a cry for validation as an interesting person? It seems to me that by blogging what one intrinsically wants is to be heard, because otherwise your words are just echoing in cyber space, a futile attempt to have an introspective experience while trying to let others in.

That is how I feel about it though. I mean however much one tries to deny it, ultimatly you hope that by writing a blog other people read it and think that you are an interesting person that relates their experiences in a fun and anecdotal sort of way while still being able to have serious thoughts.

I know that I've struggled with this idea before.

all that said. I've been pretty productive over the past few days. my paper for friday is in full draft form, I'm finishing (read starting really) a paper on Krenek's seventh quartet. I just can't get into serial music. It isn't that it isn't "pretty" music, I could get over that, there is just no direction in it. There is no pull to tonal centers, because that's the point...no tonal centers. No weight pulling through the piece. There is no way to orient one self. Once it starts you're just sort of on your own with no way to know where you are in the movement, and without a clear idea of when it will be ending.

This and the fact that my post tonal theory is only so good (and my serial theory is essentially non-existant) makes it tough for me to get into writing a paper that I will have any satisfaction in handing in.

Cowboy Bebop

I finally finished watching Cowboy Bebop after making my way through it slowly in fits and bursts for the last several months.

However bitter sweet the ending was I think that it was approriate. It had the right kind of ending, the one where it is completely credible (with in the story line) and yet you don't quite want it to end there, or possibly like that. But you're not enraged that the series had come to a close.

I guess this means that the series was done successfully; not cut off prematurly, but also not streached out to such a point that it is no longer enjoyable. This particular series had a good story arch, and also had good stand alone episodes. I really liked it quite a bit.

speaking of how series are ended, this makes me think of the Firefly/Serenity combination. I think that this had an interestingly unsatisfying and then totally satisfying ending. The TV series was certainly ended prematurly as the die hard fans will tell us; but the movie tied everything up so well. It was all you could have wanted out of that movie, and also in some sort of manner all you could have wanted out of the series, but truncated. There was not the pleasure of watching it over a season.

However I probably have no right to talk about that because I really have only seen a handful of Fire fly episodes.

plans and singing

This has been a busy past couple of weeks for me and my voice is alittle sad right now. Singing through a head cold does eventually have its ramifications.

That said besides singing in the normal end of school departments and studio recitals, I got to sing at a reception for donors to one of the non-university choirs that I am in. This went really well. I've been singing the Laudamus Te from Mozart's Mass in C minor like crazy. This is a really impressive sounding piece, lots of tricky coloratura and other flexible leaps of 13ths and such. For you non-singers colorotura not only refers to the type of soprano that sings super high, but to fast moving runs through (usually) the higher part of your voice. Anyhow, it sounds super super difficult to sing, it certainly isn't easy and took some mastering, but to be honest, that's just what my voice does. Give me these long sweeping lines and I struggle much more. Though I am working on it, my Dupius le jour is sounding nicer and nicer. I just have to be careful with it as it is heavy in comparisen to the Mozart and Strauss that I am used to. Anyhow people were very impressed and I got to chat with all sorts of people for the rest of the affair about how Mozart composed and that he considered specific voices when he wrote. Of course the weekend was such that as soon as I left that I had to change out of pink and into black for a new composition concert I was singing in. My voice is less than thrilled with me and I had to not sing the Libiamo solo from TRaviata at rehersal the other night. (I know a 20 year old like me has no place singing anything Violetta, but really at this school I am the best prepared to do it)

There is alot of research that I am trying to get underway as I start thinking about my BA. Unfortuantly as the quarter rushes to a close I do not quite have the time to fit it in yet. I'm hopeing to be all through with exams by tuesday of exam week and the use the rest of the week for research. I am very excited by where this research might go, though I am being much too slow on the up take to apply for a Fulbright for right after I graduate.

That's ok, I've been thinking that I might take the year off. as I havn't ahd the time to really consider where the best school for me might be. I am not going to a conservatory now so this may or may not work against me when I apply for MFAs. Alot of places want you to have had 3-5 major roles before they accept you. I clearly do not have that opprotunity here. Would it be worth it for me to go to someplace like DePaul or Roosevelt for a year and then later apply to a bigger name place? Or should I bother looking at big name places? I would much rather stand out than be part of the crowd. I have this romanticized vision of a year off in which I'm paid to sing in an opera chorus as I research and get ready to apply to other programs. Yes I know how compeditive these things are and that it's just a vision, but I havn't pulled ideas together such that I know yet.

why sosc?

I am so not about writing sosc papers any more. not that I was ever very good at them.
That has been my day, sosc paper, and lentils for dinner, not very good lentils.
Also we listened to a terrible Franck quartet today, you know the kind that's 45 minutes long and makes you want to run into a wall repeatidly? well maybe I've just wanted to run into a wall repeatedly all day and the quartet just aggrivated the situation.
mostly I am awsome and not whiny...to whit!
that is all...I fix paper with out real thesis....

Child development

Freud talks about a natural sexual progression that everyone takes, starting of course with our mothers and sensual sucking, that being breast feeding of course. We then move to the anal stage, the genital stage (or self loving), and finally through social simulation we direct our libido towards a member of the opposite gender. Stalling out at any of these stages cause trouble, forming individuals that Freud labels as "degenerates". Now modernly calling a homosexual a degenerate is more than even a questionable thing to do, but we're talking about lat 19th century early 20th century upper class viennese/ german people.
So the child develops through these stages, they are probably taught by family or by school that certain activities are deemed as innapropriate. Thus if there is a "stalling out" at one of these stages, and the individual desires what society deems as inappropriate we suddenly are looking at repression city, and possible neurosis.
What I find most interesting is the question of why an individual stalls out at some stage. Traumatic events are one explanation of this. And I can't call any others to mind.

Vygotsky also talks about childhood development, but in a different fashion. He talks about the development of language and thought. So language is primarily a social thing, created for communication. A child begins to speek such that he can communicate to others what he desires. It is only later that the child turns this new found type of communication back onto himself. Then he begins to talk in an ego centric way, talking in an manner that he assums everyone understands but does not. Finally this becomes inner speech, or in my interpretation concious thought. Vygotsky is not very clear in defining what exactly inner speech is, because it is not pure thought, there are words attached, but their sound pattern is only sort of attached.

How do these progression at all work with each other? With language we move from the external to the internal. Society/family shows us speech and we pick it up for social reasons, it is only later that we incorperate it into our inner lives. With sexulaity, or the growth of the libido we move from the internal desire to the external manifestation there of. sort of.

So a thought, desires can not be repressed until we have the language to do so. Or one might say until we have to socialization to do so. Would it be reasonable to state that with inner speech comes thecreation of the super ego? I think this might be a reasonable thing to say. so inner speech is conscious thought and "pure thought" could be seen as unconscious thought.

so....what's my thesis about all of this?

forgiveness

so you can't forgive someone until you can figure out why they have hurt you or how. But sometimes it is equally surprising to find out that you've been hurt. how much of other peoples actions are something that actually slowly eat away at your patience or make you feel less valued as a whole?
and how do you change that in a positive way. You can't just go up to a friend and tell that that they way that they are hurts you, you have to track it down to an identifiable behavior. And what do you say then. 'You two have been my friends for three years and I feel like you don't value me or need me any more' 'Your vocal relationship ( perhaps self ritious approach to conversation about god would be a better descriptor) with god makes me feel undervalued as a person' 'your obsession with the future makes me despair about the present' 'Please include me/us in your lives again'. These are things that you want to say to someone, but would be devestating to say, and would probably make things worse. especially since these are people who I value being near me.
Or at least I did. Have we changed so much over three years? am I stuck in the past unwilling to forge ahead? I don't think that either thing is true. I also thought that I had gotten over being hurt by others self ritiousness, but clearly not.
So I'm not angry at anyone, just sad and hurt that I'm not important in their lives anymore.

long time

It is hard to write for a blog you know that no one reads, but then you find yourself in a strange contradiction. If you are writing merely for the approval of others what does that say of you, yet if you are writing just to project yourself onto the vast infinitude of cyber-space then...why? one might as well just keep a journal, plus then one has the wonderful ascethetic of writing in a journal, hopefully with a fountain pen in a dimmly lit dustily appulstered library, or on some secluded knoll in the countryside. So....very british I guess....

Anyhow, I have been reading Freud. Some of his observations seem to be spot on, some others less so. I have been thinking about psycho-analysis, and I think that if you know the whole singing opera thing doesn't work out I would like to do that. Firstly because I think that I would be good at it. I am a good listener, this may seem cliche, but it's true, people who don't talk to other people talk to me. And secondly I think that I would like it, because I like theorizeing about why people act the ways that they do.

I don't actually have any interesting long musing thoughts to share at the moment so I will simply leave you with what there is.

ahhh!

reading period is upon us. I have so much to write, I just don't know if I'm up to it.
no
of course I am.
I am embly, the great and mighty wielder of the sometimes non-linear pen!

so I'm writing a paper on Gretchen am Spinnrade. It's actually pretty interesting and I'm enjoying it. That paper should be totally ok for next week.

However. the Galileo paper that I need to write. not so much. and the professor has said that it doesn't matter when we hand it in. this = super big problem, because the urgency to get it done is no lnger there, but I don't want to think about it come vacation and spring quarter. I don't need it hanging over my head.

any way. I am also freaking out about what I'm going to do with my life. But that doesn't matter, not right now at least as I have more important freaking out to do.

any way, I leave you with some angst, as really that is what the internet is made of:

My soul seems to be collecting itself. It now hovers around my head, like a swarm of gnats waiting to bite my face. I will try to collect it and make it perform it’s daily duties. I think in time it will learn to love. It merely needs that chance. I will now ball it up and place it inside me, somewhere where I can find it. And if the moment arises I will be able to use it. And maybe, just maybe it will have the wherewith all to know what to do. Be gentle when needed, and swarm with the fury of screaming bats when my body needs it’s defense. For now I will keep it as safe as possible. Perhaps it will return the favor.


um and while I'm at it, why not something preachy:

The man seeking truth will not be able to settle for the complicated nature of the factual world. The factual world of science is left far too much to interpretation, experimental findings all are assigned value depending upon what the experimenter is expecting. This shows that fact is subjective and dependent upon human interpretation. What one must be most careful with when declaring that a fact is truth, is using scientific induction to generalize from the specific. Fact must be fallible or falsifiable, where this should not be the case with truth. Another thing we must be careful with when assigning ideas the terms fact or truth is how much they will be questioned. If we allow fact to have the same gravity as truth then it will not be questioned. The basis of science is its questioning nature, previous theories must be found inaccurate in order for science to progress. The progress of science is what make man a fascinating creature, but one must sacrifice pride of the absolute simple universal truth in order to begin to understand the world around us. Scientific fact can teach us much about the world, but one must not confuse fact and theory with the truth.

trouble singing opera

Of late there have been articles expressing the inadequacy of opera training and performance in the United States.
The conservatory is churning out cookie cutter small light voices that fizzle out in a few years singing on the stage and then they meet obscurity. Opera companies also are not taking the time to "invest" in bigger voices that take more time to mature.
I'm not being particularly articulate about this right now, but essentially these articles make me feel justified in my decision to attend a liberal arts/research university rather than conservatory for my undergraduate work.
so that begs the question: what the heck do I do for my graduate work?
Do I continue doing theory and musicolgy and study voice on the side?
Do I go for vocal performance despite the negetive rap everything's getting right now?
Ultimately what I want to do is sing opera. It's just what I want to do. Teaching theory and researching, while enjoywable is truely second choice for me right now.
There are plenty of stories of people who make it as opera singers after years of doing somehting else...do I want to be that person. I feel like despite the dangers of singing too much at a younger age, that I would have the energy for performance earlier, and want to do things like have a family and perform less later.
That said I have been told that you really shouldn't bank on even starting to pursue a career in any seriousness before the age of 25. At the youngest. So. What do I do for the next five to eight years of my life? Start pursueing voice seriously, and work small things until perhaps something happens later? Work at other aspects of music while taking lessons and...biding my time?
Really I wish there was someone that had real advice, because everything that I've done up to this point has been my own research and intuition. yes. Ultimately you have to depend entirely upon yourself, because no one's going to get things done for you. But I wish that I had more than my head and afew words here and there from others.
I guess that's the problem with going to a big research university, no one knows anything about music performance.

performance anxiety

If performance is an activity that causes such anxious and negative feelings in many musicians, then why do they perform? Does it stem from a love of music and the desire to share music? How much of the desire to perform is developed from the rush of positive feelings that an individual. so do people perform the way some runners run to get a high?

I would contend no, but then I might disagree with myself.

trying again

ok...maybe this time?
totally!...yes that is indeed me. I happen to have maybe this and one other picture of myself on my computer.
so posting pictures is indeed something I can do.


some thoughts about schumann:

There seem to be two contrasting themes in Schumann’s Mein Wagen rollet langsam. The music seems to make a commentary first on the condition of the outside world, and the second acts as a commentary on the internal world of the wagon’s rider. The rider’s thoughts just drop in suddenly but not in a brash manner. The third time the voice enters through the piano there is a combination of the internal world forcing itself upon the outer world, though perhaps the opposite is more likely.

Upon first listening I did not think that the music accompanying the riders thought about his beloved were appropriate. It was almost abrupt in nature, no lingering sentiments, merely points of thought. However upon further contemplation this may in fact be less brash than I thought....in the end it turned out to be the recording that I was listening to. the particular performance gave it that discontenuity.

THis could lead way to an interesting discussion about music and performance and how the are, or are not, or should be related.

but I have astrophysics calling my name.......come figure out maximum emissions for sunspots...

test run I guess

This was a test to see if I could get my blog to publish pictures. however all I see is a sea of pixilated gray. oh well if you can see it, it is a scanned copy of my father's old dorm t-shit, we have essentially copied it for out t-shirt this year...pretty cool yes?



EDIT: so you can see the picture there really small in the top left corner....the rest is just garbage...I'll see what I can do later

racism

recent events my dorm have gotten me thinking about racism. Namely how we define it.

The University has recently come to terms with a sort of latent racism that is on campus, now when I say latent what I mean is that it is something that we're not even aware that we have, but we think that it's ok because we don't display outward signs of hate. The real trouble begins when we think that racism, or any other sort of intolerance be it religious, sexual orientation etc, doesn't happen any more, that we don't have to concern ourselves with it. To think that we are done with a subject because we've dealt with it before and "learned" that it is bad.

anyhow there were some anti-semetic and racist remarks posted on a white board in my dorm. Housing and University takes this sort of thing very seriously, there has been dialogue in the dorm, and ultimatly as a result the person who wrote it has been kicked out of houseing, and the person who's white board it was, and knew who had done has been kicked out of this particular dorm.

There are many people who think that The University is just using this incedent to make an example of these student...well of course they are. but this brings me to the point, the jewish roomate of the person who's board this is on, is not offended and is trying to have these people "saved".

so when is it racism? when can we define something as racism? Is it only racism if it offends the person or people that it was directed towards? or is it racism as soon as someone thinks that it might offend someone. At which point does this person have the right to tell the effected party that they ought to be offended and do something about it?

we are in a funny time when we think that we have dealt with these sorts of issues, yet are hyper sensitive to them. Is it better to just not be offended and move on, or is it better to be pro-active and stamp this sort of thing out where ever we think it might exist?

I suppose it just tells us that whilst living in a pluralistic society it is not going to be possible to create a sweeping paradigm that works for everyone.

farce

I may be a slightly moody person, that does not make my inderstanding of the world invalid.

firstly all misspellings should not make individuals assume I am an angsty 14 year old, I'm not, I'm just dyslexic and have difficulty with letters.

secondly, I am probably less superficial than this blog will make me seem, really this is a space for me to explode into the vast nothingness that is the internet, perhaps I will tell people I actually know about this blog, but perhaps not.

thirdly there people far more clever than I am who you ought to read blogs of before mine. That said if you want to comment on my passivity (as has been commented on a past blog of mine) please feel free to, but leave a venue for dialogue rather than remaining completely anonymous. This of course doesn't mean I am looking for an address.

ok

I am currently thinking about Fraz Schubert's Erlkoning and how one might create a conceptual integrattion network between the music and a horse and rider. Conceptual Integration Networks are an idea created by the linguistGilles FAuconnier to assist the way that we understand conceptual blending. An example of conceptual blending is Eeyore from Winnie-The-Pooh. talking donkey....they don't really exist...so we use our powers of conceptual blending to make it work. input donkey, input human traits from this you get Eeyore space and generic space, we're not so interested in the generic space.

anyhow, how might one do this for Erlkoning?

this is a vocal piece with continuous pulsing triplets in the right hand and sort of traveling motions in the left hand, ascending by step and then descending by skip. It is reletively simple harmonically except for that we run across i6/4's a bit too much. we know that i6/4's don't exist right? so how are they functioning here? and do they help me map from music space to horse space?

I say nay....

In other news I sang mass at St. John Cantius up on Chicago today. That is one rich congregation...so maybe that's not fair, but everyone seemed quite well-to-do. Isn't it interesting that we choose to worship with individuals not only of our same faith (obviousely) but also of the same socio-economic standing? I don't have anything really negative to say about this because I have no thought that it could necessarily be different, though it might establish an interesting dialogue.

It is a really beautiful church, large ornate, smelling of wonderful incense. they do most of their services in Latin there, except the homily because I assume they recognize vatican two. I say the venacular is a good thing!

I have to write a cover letter for othe opera music theater, and make a recording for Blue Lakes Fine Arts camp. I need to prepare an audition for the concerto competition, and make sure that I have a spot for the mid-february recital. I must go to the library to get the book on hold so that I can write my review of it. I need to grasp Galileo's assayer so that I can get 15 pages of goodness out of my brain. and I probably should make my self go to the second half of tap class.