losing focus

It's funny how you can be so focused on something that you lose sight of what is ultimately important to you.

I have (understandably) been really focused on finding a full time job for this coming year. As such I've been thinking about applying to things, gaining experience and what I'm interested in doing. All of this has been rather consuming, and I hadn't really noticed it until today.

I was sitting in the library scanning microfilm of Rossini Overtures and listening to WFMT to keep from scanner insanity. While doing this I started thinking about listening to music and writing about music and performing music, and then what summer programs I had done in the past and what summer programs I should apply for next year. I became very immersed in these thoughts, and I was engaged and left my thoughtdome happy.

These are the plans that I'm actually interested in laying, these are the things that I'm actually interested in doing. Thinking about how I can swing it to be a Graduate Student at Large at Roosevelt such that I can take advantage of lessons and such there. Now the whole figuring out how to be an independent adult is really quite nice, but creating those plans don't involve my dreams.

Every once and a while I regret that I did not make auditions for the Lyric Opera Chorus work. Because then I would have a job that I am interested in. However that is entirely pipe dreams because there is no reason that they would have accepted me (that's not a judgement call on my talent, but rather, sopranos are a large bunch and once people get into the Lyric Opera Chorus they tend not to leave, so there would probably simply not be a place for me to fill. But had I auditioned and been rejected there would be no lingering doubt.

Now its about finding something that excites me and trying to find a stimulating work place.