I don't think this was bitchy...it was truely what I thought

I just left this response to someone who is deleting their blog because they are concerned that you can find their posts through google etc. the trouble with anominity:

isn't that why people blog though...to be found and heard? doesn't the mere act of blogging beg for attention from strangers and a cry for validation as an interesting person? It seems to me that by blogging what one intrinsically wants is to be heard, because otherwise your words are just echoing in cyber space, a futile attempt to have an introspective experience while trying to let others in.

That is how I feel about it though. I mean however much one tries to deny it, ultimatly you hope that by writing a blog other people read it and think that you are an interesting person that relates their experiences in a fun and anecdotal sort of way while still being able to have serious thoughts.

I know that I've struggled with this idea before.

all that said. I've been pretty productive over the past few days. my paper for friday is in full draft form, I'm finishing (read starting really) a paper on Krenek's seventh quartet. I just can't get into serial music. It isn't that it isn't "pretty" music, I could get over that, there is just no direction in it. There is no pull to tonal centers, because that's the point...no tonal centers. No weight pulling through the piece. There is no way to orient one self. Once it starts you're just sort of on your own with no way to know where you are in the movement, and without a clear idea of when it will be ending.

This and the fact that my post tonal theory is only so good (and my serial theory is essentially non-existant) makes it tough for me to get into writing a paper that I will have any satisfaction in handing in.

Cowboy Bebop

I finally finished watching Cowboy Bebop after making my way through it slowly in fits and bursts for the last several months.

However bitter sweet the ending was I think that it was approriate. It had the right kind of ending, the one where it is completely credible (with in the story line) and yet you don't quite want it to end there, or possibly like that. But you're not enraged that the series had come to a close.

I guess this means that the series was done successfully; not cut off prematurly, but also not streached out to such a point that it is no longer enjoyable. This particular series had a good story arch, and also had good stand alone episodes. I really liked it quite a bit.

speaking of how series are ended, this makes me think of the Firefly/Serenity combination. I think that this had an interestingly unsatisfying and then totally satisfying ending. The TV series was certainly ended prematurly as the die hard fans will tell us; but the movie tied everything up so well. It was all you could have wanted out of that movie, and also in some sort of manner all you could have wanted out of the series, but truncated. There was not the pleasure of watching it over a season.

However I probably have no right to talk about that because I really have only seen a handful of Fire fly episodes.

plans and singing

This has been a busy past couple of weeks for me and my voice is alittle sad right now. Singing through a head cold does eventually have its ramifications.

That said besides singing in the normal end of school departments and studio recitals, I got to sing at a reception for donors to one of the non-university choirs that I am in. This went really well. I've been singing the Laudamus Te from Mozart's Mass in C minor like crazy. This is a really impressive sounding piece, lots of tricky coloratura and other flexible leaps of 13ths and such. For you non-singers colorotura not only refers to the type of soprano that sings super high, but to fast moving runs through (usually) the higher part of your voice. Anyhow, it sounds super super difficult to sing, it certainly isn't easy and took some mastering, but to be honest, that's just what my voice does. Give me these long sweeping lines and I struggle much more. Though I am working on it, my Dupius le jour is sounding nicer and nicer. I just have to be careful with it as it is heavy in comparisen to the Mozart and Strauss that I am used to. Anyhow people were very impressed and I got to chat with all sorts of people for the rest of the affair about how Mozart composed and that he considered specific voices when he wrote. Of course the weekend was such that as soon as I left that I had to change out of pink and into black for a new composition concert I was singing in. My voice is less than thrilled with me and I had to not sing the Libiamo solo from TRaviata at rehersal the other night. (I know a 20 year old like me has no place singing anything Violetta, but really at this school I am the best prepared to do it)

There is alot of research that I am trying to get underway as I start thinking about my BA. Unfortuantly as the quarter rushes to a close I do not quite have the time to fit it in yet. I'm hopeing to be all through with exams by tuesday of exam week and the use the rest of the week for research. I am very excited by where this research might go, though I am being much too slow on the up take to apply for a Fulbright for right after I graduate.

That's ok, I've been thinking that I might take the year off. as I havn't ahd the time to really consider where the best school for me might be. I am not going to a conservatory now so this may or may not work against me when I apply for MFAs. Alot of places want you to have had 3-5 major roles before they accept you. I clearly do not have that opprotunity here. Would it be worth it for me to go to someplace like DePaul or Roosevelt for a year and then later apply to a bigger name place? Or should I bother looking at big name places? I would much rather stand out than be part of the crowd. I have this romanticized vision of a year off in which I'm paid to sing in an opera chorus as I research and get ready to apply to other programs. Yes I know how compeditive these things are and that it's just a vision, but I havn't pulled ideas together such that I know yet.

why sosc?

I am so not about writing sosc papers any more. not that I was ever very good at them.
That has been my day, sosc paper, and lentils for dinner, not very good lentils.
Also we listened to a terrible Franck quartet today, you know the kind that's 45 minutes long and makes you want to run into a wall repeatidly? well maybe I've just wanted to run into a wall repeatedly all day and the quartet just aggrivated the situation.
mostly I am awsome and not whiny...to whit!
that is all...I fix paper with out real thesis....