Walking Through a Cloud

If we suspend our disbelief for just a moment, and forget the physical impossibilities of walking on a cloud, it still does not appear to be a very pleasant experience. I'm fairly certain that I have no interest in walking on a cloud, as I imagine the experience would be rife with windy dangers, not to mention cold and clammy.

I bring this up merely because yesterday was a day that we lived in a cloud. The miraculous four inches of snow that appeared during the super bowl disappeared in a cool haze of drizzle. The air was so thick that you felt the particles enter your nose and begrudgingly make their way down to your lungs, where they settled.

Mia said that it was the sort of day that you see in the movies. Everything was dramatic and mysterious due to the weather. It was, it certainly was not the tormented sky that Duff loves, but it was not without its own allure. The sky was very hidden or very close, depending just how you're interested in defining "sky".

Weather is one of those things that we not only can not control, but we still can only somewhat predict. It is frustratingly more like an art than a science. I think I like it that way; defying our attempts to control it. We have made these attempts as counter-intuitive as it may seem. Ski resorts have machines that expel dust into clouds to promote the formation of snow flakes, but ultimately nature can not be contro0led or contained in this way.

None of nature can be contained for long. I read a very interesting book over the summer: The World Without Us by Alan Weisman. It described step by step and piece by piece what would happen to the earth if humans simply and suddenly disappeared. Nature has this incredible and persistent way of erasing the things that we do to it.

This of course should be in no way taken as a promotion of us doing whatever the heck we want to the earth. The earth will fix itself, but only in the presence of much time and the absence of humans.

Two interesting facts that I will share with you from this book, though there are many and it's an easy read so I recommend it.
One: one of the most harmful things that we are putting in the environment right now are tiny plastic pellets that are the base of plastics. They are what are melted down and formed into things, but first they are tiny pellets. They are too small to be filtered out of water but too big to get out of fishies systems. They are mixed in with the sand on beaches as well as in animals bellies.
Two: There is a giant gyre in the Pacific ocean where all of the currents converge (the North Pacific Gyre to be precise). There you can find miles and miles of ocean that our trash floats to and stays. Miles and miles of trash all on the surface and presumably under the surface of the Pacific ocean. What a sight that must be to see.

West Randolf

So it was a tremendously snowy week! I'm pretty pleased about this. Though I got stir crazy this afternoon (I think I'm pretty much done with the song review stuff that I've been doing for work! this means I get to start editing music, which I think will be a nice change of pace).

I went off to return a woefully overdue blockbuster movie buy bus passes and walk around in the snow. I decided to take a closer look at all that's going on on Randolf in the West Loop. The answer....everything?

It looks like one of those places where I could purchase just about anything that I could think of. There are a lot of whole sale food places meat, veggies, lots of pre-made stuff. There are whole sale paint places, little Mexican places, a pizza place, a schmancy French place, a hookah bar, what I think is a strip club though it could be simply a erotic store, Harpo studios are there too, umm and lots of other things. Anyhow it's a place to be explored further, I think that there are cool things to try there.

you should check out my friend J's music. He played Tony in West Side Story when I played Maria. I was 16 and he was 21. I was totally totally enamored with him. He was pretty cool, we were friends and AND I got to kiss him! Which was pretty cool. They weren't good kisses or anything, we were on stage, but still.

Anyhow it should be a good weekend, though it is unclear to me who to root for in the Super bowl. Mom's rooting for the Giants 'cause they were grandpa's team, I think Dad might be rooting for the Patriots to stick it to the Dolphins. I dunno, I guess we should just hope for good football right?

Pancakes!

Did you know that Fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras is also pancake day?
This is not too too surprising as pancakes are a delicious and efficient way to get rid of all of those verboten ingredients for lent.
Anyhow I believe we all know my feelings towards pancakes. Which is to say that I love them, think that the ones that I make are the best, and that if I tell you otherwise I'm probably being really really polite. Though I did have a camper introduce me to some other ways of making them that are really good.
Anyhow I thought as a tribute those of you who do not keep track of you tube would enjoy this clip!

They are admittedly not pancakes but crepes that he makes, but I love crepes too. And stop motion animation is pretty much amazing!

On dealing with disappointment and insecurity

In this profession that I am seeking to pursue and therefore the lifestyle that I must lead I deal with a lot of disappointment. You are rejected from competitions and auditions and are turned down for roles much more than you are accepted. The way that you may get accepted next time is to listen to someone tear apart your performance and tell you how to improve it (if they’re nice) or why it was just not good enough (if they’re not so nice).

It’s not merely the authority that tells you their opinion but everyone who learns that you are a singer. Everyone has advice for a musician, because well they like music and they know someone who knows someone who’s doing very well for herself and singing at the Hilton.

Needless to say I receive some very questionable advice, and some very good advice. The good advice comes in two varieties: 1. The same thing that everyone tells you, which is right but you’ve already heard it about 20 times, 2. The rare glimpse of something new, and worthwhile. However that happens so rarely that it is really a gem to be grasped.

But back to disappointment and criticism. To succeed you have to just decide that the disappointment and sometimes mean comments are just not going to affect you. You have to be incredibly confident walking into a room, know your music, know your history, and know that you are the best at it, all while being modest and kind to everyone and not acting like a total prick. But you still have to be confident, you never get anything if you don’t think that you will. That on top of the fact that the situation that you’re walking into is by all accounts very nerve wracking.

So you build yourself a little emotional fortress where you are untouchable. I am for the most part rarely nervous about auditions and performances because of this and can take all sorts of criticism with out any reaction other than, “that’s interesting” or “thank you”.

As a result (tangentially perhaps) I am incredibly insecure about some things that just don’t make any sense from the outside. Karaoke being the most ironic I think…Emblies you sing for your supper all the time, and you can’t belt into a microphone for drunk people? Well not really I’ve never tried. I’m also insecure about dancing (unless I’m with a certain group of people).

In my personal life people tell me that I am one of the most secure people that they know in my own skin. I have always been told this, in fact that’s the universal thing that people said to me upon my leaving high school, and it does not seem that this has changed. However I find that the security is easier to project than actually feel. There are many things that I’m insecure about in life, and you know there are two choices and a right time for both actually. Sometimes you have to leave the thing that is making you insecure and not make it part of your life. And other times you have to expose yourself to that insecurity and learn how to not be insecure about it. Do you have things that you just have to remove from your life because of the negative impact they have? And what have you triumphantly faced that makes you feel like you are now 12 feet tall now that you can deal with it?

that college feeling

So I was walking across campus today after a morning of arduous photocopying (see my life is not so glamorous as I make it out to be when I describe my job) I was sleep deprived, emotionally drained, hungry and my brain was working on what I would call a low gray whir.

And I suddenly had a realization: this is what I felt like in college...most of the time. And I had the sick realization that it was through this haze of being drained that I was most able to be productive and that in fact I was thinking of how to plan the rest of my day. I realized that I could write a paper just then if I really needed.

How ridiculous is that? I have trained my mind and body such that when I am at my most drained I can be the most productive. The question is it coping or something that I learned otherwise?

Not with a Bang but a Whimper

I just returned from seeing the Lyric Opera's production of Doctor Atomic. The work ended in silence. Utter silence as the audience held its breath, wondering is it over? should I applaud? That lasted almost 15 seconds....really! That is a tremendously long time for there to be silence after a show. I love that. I actually often wish that I had a moment to enjoy the silence after the music before the audience goes leaping head long into applause, perhaps I am not ready for applause. I think that there is a lot to be said for allowing things to sink in so that you can really appreciate them.

But this is a pet peeve of mine, excessive applauding and even more irksome, excessive standing. Really I think that standing should be reserved for those moments where you just can not imagine a better performance.

Now the moment was clearly crafted just so this silence would occur, and it worked. There was a roar and then small strings then the stage slowly faded to black, and then it was the audience, I know I was willing everyone to hold off clapping as long as they could. It was great, from where I sat there was not awkward movement or giggling, just pure silence, almost as in expectation!

I enjoyed the opera in full as well, I found it to be really engaging musically the whole way through, but I have a soft spot for so-called post minimalism. Personally I didn't like that Oppenheimer's wife was a character in the opera. It's not that she was a bad role just a little heavy handed in the "humanizing" theme for my taste. Plus I had the feeling like she was there merely to fill the leading lady role that is of up most importance in opera. I actually would have been more interested to see this opera with an all male cast...meaning all male protagonists, I think that would be quite interesting.

some amusement

I know I fail at being a blogger of any entertainment, and I have now been shamed after being told that damn it Emily I went to the effort to put your sight on google reader...and I have nothing to read...so I actually have a few real posts in draft but for now...two things that I watch when I wish to be amused!

one History through string quartet!



also this is one of my favorite pieces! I love how they did this...so cool! I mean certainly it looses something because the piece is all about the timbrel changes from horn to strings to wind etc. Supposedly Ravel at this point really didn't hear melody very well and therefore was more interested in exploring the different timbres of the orchestra. This is clearly not achieved in this rendition, but I think a certain level of awesome makes up for it!